Choose!

Lately its been stressful. 2 different path have been written clearly on board. 2 different Ways that have the same objective which is to go to australia.
Path 1. Work as a salesman. Time limit 1 year. Earn to learn aka take course of hair design and makeup artist. When end of course. Proceed to singapore for job in relevant industries at least 3 years. And lastly apply for pr in australia. Its a long 4yr journey with more choice in future.
Path 2. Send resume to different travel agency in sg. Work for at least 1 year in company to collect sufficient money to go for working holidays in australia. On the working hols period of 1 year, will need to find suitable company to work with and work hard and hopefully get hired after working hols.
2 stable plans but plan 2 is moving we will see how bout it and hopefully the travel agency interview will be a success.

D bday

Yea yea! 3 june! got used to it. Its like any other day not much different. If its a working day then will be working then back home eat and sleep. Haha. Nothing special. Btw its already one month past since I quit the last job. Finding, got chance and miss it cos simply looking for better ones. Too choosy am i? Yea gotta admit that. Phew. Cutting cost so 018 not usin anymore. Stick to one and only 016. Man kinda annoying 018 ring non stop yesterday.

cakes

ok now everyone takes picture, so i took after we left some extras, it was for mother days but as well as for yong shen b'day as well.this was a pic i took by focusing the flower instead. taking picture is fun. especially when capturing breath taking views to share with everyone. i do wish that i have the money to travel and also capture all the fantastic moments. but it sure do need a lot of money to do so. haha and also a camera. hmmmm it does cost a lot. but i am sure i will do it in the future. anyone willing to join?

Weird dream

Kind me a weird dream that I have. Brought back to the past for war to change the future. And instead me the real mission the sister that came with me got the wings of the angels. Falling from the sky, trying to catch golden shoes behind a golden bird and got it. Then trying to grab it within its arms. And it became a legend among all others as only the owner me the golden shoes can see the true face me the golden bird. A young boy. I even heard the name been called but I cannot recall it. A foreign name.its beautiful to see it in my dream. Seeing it like it really happen in real life and feel it. Such a weird dream but an amazing feeling. To see wings of someone is really special. Wish that there is wings that I can feel with my own hands. Talking bout today. Its weird that I have see a place go my dreams before. Its like flash of knowing I have been there. Something that I have felt in avillion before. Looking at my clog go the past you might find it. May have another good dream to share but please dont give me a bad dream please

As dull as the picture is

It has been long enough. Been waiting and waiting. Today is feeling a bit not ok. Depressed a bit. Need someone with me please. Well told that I can like few people but I can love many after been told that like many but love only one. The reason is its hard for me to like someone but to love, I love my family even if I have them that much that I will never ever speak to them. Nah I still will.

Sian

Say liao wan go sing k say on liao later say don wan very tired wan sleep. What a friend.

Genting view

Sometimes I do wonder why loving someone is hard and forgetting someone that you love is even harder. Its not easy to find that someone even if there is so many others in the world. You might only find one or two that you really love. Some maybe just be loved by others. To fill their empty heart. When found you may just notice that the time may seperate us apart. But the heart tells you that thats the one and you know that no more letting go.

Bk

Today is my 31:)

Omg

The cuteness cause it

Waiting

Waiting for 3 slowpokes to go out. Omg. It takes nearly 1 hour

Flowers at mcd?

I still dont get the concept of why flowers in mcd. Anything im missing?

Su fang

She resign d.

Ice.cream anyone?

New zealand's before back to work

Past

Thinking back, I have been so easy to be cheated. Will a undercover police tell you that he is a undercover? I dont think so. Need to be stronger and need to be smarter. Well today going back to genting. I wanna watch lightning thief.

Sushi?

Eat sushi? Full now. Online. Online and online

Been confirmed

Yea been confirmed. Yay congrats. But last few days I have been thinking about changing job. Yea cos I have seen my ex boss. In genting. She ask me if I am interested to work with them back to become a salesman, car provided. Yea.i am thinking and thinking and then. Last 2 days the Supervisor ask to see me. And who knows. I have been confirmed. And now what to do? Work longer or change job? How?

Wonder.

Sometimes I do think if its a good choice to work in the hotel line. Its a barrier from spending time with family. I wonder if its the right choice to choose out of so many different jobs that is available. I wanted a job that promise a future and at the same time for me to have time to join my family when times of joy and laughter we bring together. Even sadness. Its good to have some time with them. Brings us closer. But its different this year. I did not join reunion at home instead working a bit far from home. Jobs is waiting but not long. I need to decide asap. It will be hard to make it but when its not something that I want then I will need to make a move already. I shall not wait anymore. As time past, my goal will take longer time to reach. Time to make a new move.

Happy chinese new year to all

Hopefully this new year will be turning to a good start. Since last year on the eve i met an accident. Then the first day was bad where my beloved grandmother past away. 2 unfortunate event came and past through. I can still remember i asked myself why this thing happen on that day itself. Why must if be on the first day? Where joy turn to sadness. Seems to be irritating for those unfortunate event to come to us but then these thing does not happen when and where we want it to be. What will happen will still happen, it is just matter of time . Here and now at Genting, i do still pray that nothing bad will happen to anyone around especially my loved ones. Lets have faith that may a new beginning bring us joy and laughter throughout the year. And on the first day and second day of chinese new year the whole front office staff in first world hotel will be wearing traditional chinese clothes. I am looking into the all shiny new clothes. Hope we all have a great new year. Till then...:)

New clothes

So dam long since the last Blog. Taken this last few days when go see new clothes with kai Xian test a few but then this shirt white colour is wad i bought. Next thing will be dinner on 13th night at coffee terrace. Will be working midnight shift from today onwards till 13 and 14 will jump shift to 3 pm need to wear traditional clothes on 1st and 2nd day me chinese new year. So whole front office will have a new look. Yay but then i only got one need to purchase another. And will buy new laptop or Psp soon Yay

Back to Genting.

Tomolo early morning will go back to Genting liao ... Report and start work soon. But not at this hotel... At first world. Same place with lee woon. And will see quite a number of familiar face too. Hopefully tomorrow onwards will be a new fresh start for me. The beginning of my carrier. Wish me luck.

Singapore anyone!

Well:) its kinda like vacation plus attending cousin's wedding for this trip to singapore. Not much on buying and much more on walking:(... Tired legs . Got there with parents family cousins. Fun- average. Spend money- below avg. Overall- fair enough. Need to shop badly. Haha. Should have remember to get my money changed then i can shop better. Places visited many branded and expensive. Less cheap and good stuff. Bugis is one me the places with cheap stuff. But din buy anything there. ( Now regretted ) others not a good place to shop:(. Well next time go there i will make sure i shop like mad. But also need prepare lots of cash 1st. Haha:) the wedding was nice. Shian bcome the mc on last minute. I was going to get sick there. But lucky saved. Vacation with parents not a very good idea sometimes but still best to prevent me from getting broke when i come back. XP then. Erm. Been to Bugis street, tampines mall sth like that, then to central town, so called durian, merlion, sentosa beach walking... Argh too many picture but then no pc to upload no facebook. Sad. Still got loads of picture at my eldest sis cam. Sad sad sad... Will have no time to upload after 2nd cos will go to Genting for work... No online no facebook... Need to wait and wait. I will get my own laptop. But of course when my money reach around 5K then only buy. Then keep more and more. And find job at Singapore or go to australia 1st... More money means australia 1st. If not means singapore 1st... Money will help me make the decision... Till the next time to singapore:) earn more money...

nov

it has been nearly one month since the last blog~... finding for new job, all kinda feeling appears... lately i tend to stop what i don like to do. many many things... i don wanna cause a crisis because i dont wanna do things that i dont like eg: work (some of them).. wanna stay at home until i find myself a new job. it has been hard for me to do things that i dont like. need a change need a change. now kinda like going to have a headache and getting sick ... i will try my best to find a new job before dec starts.. to sing on the 26 this month and these 1 week ++ i will not know how to get through it. help me... i really need to get out of home and relax in some place far away or even working in a place far away from home ... maybe it would be best...

22 oct

Well kinda bored... Haven found the right job yet... I have to admit that i am choosy. What to do i am me... Wanna change that. Donno when i am gonna change. Right now whats important is money. Earn more money. Need lots of money. Even though love used to be number one but things have changed... Kinda tired with it . Found and treat me as a freak. Found and not into me. Found and not ment to be together... Kinda heart breaking though. What to do~ lifes like that. So love aside. Money comes into place... Maybe its best to be that way.
Back to talking bout work chances come and go... Its all about how i grab it... If theres someone tell me that wanna hire me to work on a salary target go my mind, i might go for it even if its travelling or working at a place further then home... Changes need to be made and i cannot stay at my current level anymore... I gotta move further ahead. But i am still waiting for time to move. And i dono y. Please someone drag me to my actions rather then just words comming from my mouth. Right now there are still things that i wanted to do like having a job as a photographer this thing have been go my mind for quite some time. Somehow. I do have some interest go it... Taking beautiful pictures. It seems to be more interesting then things that i have done before... But i must not go back to study which is also one of the things that i wish to do also , enjoy back college Life? Too much debts that haven been cleared. So earn money 1st to clear debt more important:)

Now!

Its been a while since the last Blog. Many things happened. Many incident many jobs many problems. New choices need to be made time need to be shortened. From now onwards, the decision i am about to make will be leading me to a new direction. Things will be different if i take the path to australia. It might be the same if remaining here and it might not be. I want to leave do it by my own doing thingS that i love to do~ trying new things like photography. Need someone to lead. Need a guided path. Dont want to deal with things that tie me up in one place want to go to places that is different travel and travel meet new people. Communicate. Have fun while working. To see new things not to repeat what i dislike. Hard to find. Really hard. Need someone to talk to.

Siao cha bo

Siao cha bo small small birthday party la... C its 100% her... Quite a lot people~ have fun though... Drink and drink... She mix all the wine until cannot be drinked anymore... Make me feel like wanna go clubbing ~ almost the same just that the ghost movie replace the music. Meet one old friend and a few clubbing kaki. Long time din go club liao i wan go club:)..... Bring me go Wuwuwu... Summore... If can find job quite far te maybe i will go then maybe i will not eat that much and maybe its the only way for me to lose weight... Haha...

oh god .....
sad real sad... a new chance and a new job... but wouldnt know how will it go now either fly away or luck stick with meto this new job really want it with such a good offer but then what to do we have to be a grown up adi cannot still say i want the job its a must to give it to me ... no matter how much i want it still have to give and take... but i adi have a very good plan to having 2 job at one time zzz.sad sad sad...........


ok now this time really break record adi,,, for the first time in this few month i have mostly 2-3 dreams when i sleep... it will either be nightmare or or my grandma will appear... not saying that the nightmare is bout my grandma but nightmare is things like killing ppl through driving and then people dont even help but standing while smiling make me feel like the devils are there ad they don responds when i tell them call the ambulence... not a good month huh.... the next nightmare is when i was eating i saw fish when i wanna put the fish into mouth there are black nails on the fish mear and the rest on the table really a lot of black nails... i feel like being cursed by some1 who want me to die... strange dreams lately really strange... sometimes when think back bout the dream really will somehow feel scared... i dont think anyone will want this kinda dreams huh...

today is 21/8/09... hmmm gonna be back to home later after work.. night shift as usual.. haha...the pic is taken way back in kk ... thinking of kk i really wanna go vacation adi haha... need a break .. but not gonna take kit kat.. ~ gonna switch my shift foward next week frm maybe 5pm - 2 am.. bak home early and sleep early hahaha... sleeping at night seems to be much much more better ... heheh prefer dark then light... lolz...

Back home after work... Phew going to sleep le... Fat le fat le... Need kiam pui le... Very fat d... Dono y my weight keep increasing... Eat eat and eat only... Miss my last time figure... Wuwuwu~ kiam pui Argh:)...

tada

hmmm how long le din write blog.... still waiting g=for chance o get one tatoo hahaha.... i will get one ... soon enough lolx...

tatoo

i am gonna get a tatoo lolx .... TATOO HERE I COME>>>>>>>> the "L" tatoo...

haha maybe gonna get a fake te 1st before get a new one lolx..... who wan go do tatoo wid me
?

sing~

my cousin~.... saturday bday party of cousin hui shian... so stay overnight after the party.. sleep late and wake up very early lolx... sleep around 2 am wake up at 9 am... tired man lolx.... go kaikan the next day and sing k as well but at aunt hse sing all old song no new te but better then none.. lolx...

21 birthday

well this is where i celebrated my birthday ... its actually at the curve bubba gump restaurant... i donno if i spell it correctly hahaz... very very full lolx.. wit ivan hui meng and siao cha bo... donno who to call lolx
nothing much like every yeat yesterday 3rd june actually at home sleep nia and c movie lolx today work mar.... tomorrow wanna go clubbing lolx but donno can bo.... 2nd is elder sis and one uncle b'day 3rd is mine and 4th is cousin's bday 3 day in a row.... so oni cousin celebrating hahaz...

so got a number of wishes yesterday lolx thanks to all... but one thing i donno y don feel satisfied as what is written in my facebook and i actually dream of seeing ghost yesterday quite scary cos feel like flying and fainting lolx... quite an experience of dreams

food is quite ok but the fish and chips is terrible... lolx all 4 of us does not like it....

as like the previous post i really really need a vacation no matter its me only or with people... but you will c the real me comes out if u go with me... everything comes out i really really need to express i donno if its the thing that is inside me that make me feel like this .... hmmm the pic >>>>>>> should change to a sad face.. lolx

then just now saw a i dont smoke... a friend bcome a fan i became one too but then i wanna post this "actually i do... smoking outta miserable life and hope to get cancer tomorrow and die Peace love u all non smokers muakss^^" but it seems like it cant be posted i donno y..... peace go bak lo tataz tomolo write again ... love u alll muakzzz

passing days~

this pic is actually

take a few days ago... u guess this is a morning

or evening!! not that bright sunlight... days have

change not a windy morning, hot afternoon (lucky in

aircond room), evening still ok!, but dam hot night...

cant even sleep without the aircond on!. can you

imagine? it feel like going to country with winter

now.. haha VACATION!!!!! but no money go @.@

..... vacation i am comming .. but where to go now.. on a very tight budget=.=" lgk and bki i have been there... genting as well hhahaz.. hmmm tomolo is actually 2days of freedom event at malacca i wanna go!!! but think back, salary haven out yet lar... this sat gonna spend money next as well @.@

btw its taken in the morning!

ok now... working working and working everyday!!.. everyday same routine lifes like that! hahaz... bored everyday! FBFBFB oni and FSFSFS oni and MSNMSNMSN oni.. business not that good hahaz.. looking foward to go bkk wanna go but no passport @.@ it was on 5th or 6th june to bkk thailand donno get to go or not and if my parents allow even though no need pay anything hahaz..

songs for suki demo

a short song just got the song written yesterday unexpected i will post the lyric soon but the thing is i am english ed not chinese go gotten it on pin ying that i understand hahaz... but the dateline is on this month 15.. today is already 11 gotta rush... jyjy change to chinese words lolx...

dr3ams

hmmm lately very free!
everyday work very free
business slow mar...

hahaz... i have a dr3am today but sadly everytime i dr3am of a person then i will forget who izzit.. of cos i someone i know or i saw b4 but then in the morning i will forget that i have a dr3am and have a flash back... its really annoying if have a dream and forget and think bak lolz...
happens to me all the time..

but have you dr3am of a place you haven been to before and when you visited a place and you remember that you have dr3am of the place? it happen to me around 2 time~ i forgot one but one still remember.. the one that i remember is i dr3am of avillion pd 4th floor banquet area... that was way before i went to pd for training.. the time when i realise it was when i work in banquet in the morning and boom i remember about it it look the same like in my dr3am.. lolx. kinda weird.. knew the place before i visit it.. hahaz... and also pd ghost~ experienced it hahaz..

but i feel like nothing and just forget about it.. kinda blur that time lolx.. wanna go overseas soon but donno when..

plans is comming but 1st something is gonna be attached to me forever hahaz.. u guess wad izzit.. and don tell keep secret lolx~ peace ^.^V

broken keychain

btw forget to say DON BUY KEYCHAIN NEXT TIME!.
cos recently buy keychain frm kk look nice but EASILY BROKEN, i should take a picture of the broken keychain. lolx low quality and cheap btw it is really cheap lolx!

Lol

Today is friday... Was purpose to be a good happy friday... BUT end up to be a tiu lian friday not to lan friday ok! I am not gonna tell u wat happen Haha:) later u are gonna laugh at me for this... Go work lo...

genting on 18 apr

there is 2 main objective on going to genting one gathering and meeting the other go to concert... Zhang Jing Xuan... the first concert attended i tell Jenny my first time is given to Zhang Jing Xuan le....

hahax

so before the concert, frm klang to kl hav breakfast at kl central subway breakfast set, then to genting ... and reach skyway and take a ride and reach top and find way to the resort hotel. and waited for check-in and start taking pictures.. but after check in and went to room KI SIAO LO~ take picture like ki siao te swt~

but still ok la just tired of taking picture lolx.. muahhaha.

picture on the right is the concert photo of the zhang jing xuan>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

but then use phone te camera take te so image not that good and summore on the stage the white person is not ghost ok! that is zhang jing xuan... me and jenny also got take some of the video of him singing and of cos our voice in inside...SWT!

what to do i gotta support him a bit muahahaha some song nice but some din hear b4... and then erm some oldies i know te then i join lo donno te jus take vid oni.. lolx...

then at last still got fans don wan go bak sleep so naughty! then we oso cannot go cos later giv ppl hit so early go bak.. haha

so me and jenny oni sit there and watch lo...

most fans say encore encore encore! so many times so when he go inside le still come out and go inside le still come out... until last they all go bak lo

muahahaha...

super fans mar lolx!!

then summore got saw 1 junior ! SWT forget his name adi lolx too long no chat muahahaha... soli hope u can tel me ur anme again lolx!.

then we go walk walk and go go and c c then bak to room and chat for abt fiuyo until 3-4 am in the morning... then i go out walk walk and then go bak room sleep!..

still cannot sleep sianz.... then morning 9 am le wake up and sleep again! to tired what to do... SLEEP LO>... hahaz

then we pack and rachel took one key back and slot into the express check-out and bye bye genting ! bak home

i din take a lot pic this time compare to last visit to genting wit patricion, lee woon and oso jb te>>>suddenly cantremember her name lolx ah ha yes its "hui ling".. lolx..

btw this time te is me jenny tiff and rachel.. there is also photo in their profile me haven upload yet need to rechoose lolx...

btw jus got a korean name - Eun Eun

japanese - Kenta Genji

English - Eugene

Chinese - Kwee Ang

lolx Peace

Eugene aka Kwee ang aka Kenta Genji aka Eun Eun

kota kinabalu sabah!

hmmm... blogging from kk sabah. ate a lot weird food quite ok wont vomit lolx its an interesting place to visit. still from one place to another it will take hours to reach the destination phew ... not walking but driving... i will upload some of the kk views to my profile when i am back to klang... worth to wait lolx...

yesterday went to the btm of mount kinabalu din went up no chance and don feel like going up lolx... nvm la next time will visit again. then went to hot spring. this is what i am talking about far and far lolx......

today will go to snorkeling and donno wat lolx... tomolo will be back to klang le... wanted to do something b4 back to klang.. something for a lifetime.. can u guess?? lolx..
if its done le MAYBE when u ask i will tell u what is it.. k? have a nice day!

Wedding and running.

Many things been done this few days. First is my eldest sister wedding. Running here and there quite fun and hot. And also went to their house:) pictures and pictures and pictures. Loads of them. Picture with cousins also got. I will upload is in either friendster or facebook. Will put in the url...

Next is run for peace. Of cos its in klang. Green shirt look nice not too small nor too large just perfect. Lot of people joining. Young to old lols... And a lot of friends join. But one thing, out of 8 km. I think only 2 km is running rest is walking. Swt but still quite fun lols... Need to wait Summore 2 years to join the next run for peace. Yup 2 years once... Should target next 10k ppl coming cos this time te already 6k ppl. Find people also hard lols...

Then next thing that i have done is attend a western australia sales briefing... 11 tables each table only 11 minutes... Fast and lots of free gifts. At the end still got lucky draw... I got a cowboy hat... Which i heard cost around 30 aussie dollar... But one lady is more lucky. She got a teddy bear which have a mini gold piece inside:) REAL GOLD... That is around 100 aussie dollar Swt... Dam lucky lols.... If i get Summore can sell it lols... Good wad Summore got cash in

1 march 09

Sunday... Meeting huey yen and jenny... And spending money... Lol... We meet at times square... Walk to pavillion to buy movie ticket... Drink coffee bean drinks... Walk back to times square to play bowling. Eat papa john's pizza.... Go back pavillion to meet jenny and enjoy the movie... Can you imagine how much we all spend? But of course jenny only join us when movie time... Long time only once Nvm lor... Hehe... Met huey yen mom she drive me to ktm... Now they know what is my next plan... Guess it for my eyes and body... Lols cheers! ^^

Helloz

Sometimes i really wonder who actually reads my Blog... Haha... I always feel like its only me...

What u love about her?

The question is asked. What should i answer? Should there be a reason to love someone? Theres none for me. Cos there shouldn't be reasons to love some1. Theres once i read a mail. A girl ask her boyfriend, why do you love me? The boyfriend couldn't answer. Day after day, the girl repeat the question and yet the boyfriend couldn't answer. One day, the girl met an accident and the doctor told her that she could never walk anymore. I couldn't remember the rest but the ending is the boyfriend is willing to take care of her even she could not walk anymore because he love her for who she was and not what she have... Anyway coming back to me... I cant tell you why or how i love a person because when it comes, everything is not planned and i did not tell myself that i love a person but its what within me tells me...

Short hair?

This is how i look like when my hair is short... Real short Huh . I dont even know how to style it when bak to work on friday... These few days also sleep almost at 5 am. Sleep in morning. Phew... Tired but what u to do? Its past me my responsibility as the eldest grandson in the family... Even though i can choose not to stay ur late at night. But i wanted to.... Something for my grandma... I am getting more tired when no people to talk to late at night... Hehe... Most of them sleep le like 3 days no sleep... Still i suppose after this still will be no cutting hair for 3 months... Thats why my hair is this short... If not my hair will touch the floor.... Haha jk. Nightz....

Dig my heart out

My heart. Can u help me to dig it out! Feeling so emo yet people is not smsing back to me... Is it something i have done or said wrong? Wanted someone to care and be with me whenever i need them. Really tired of friends not replying. Very tired. It feels like asid burning my heart now. Take it out of me please so that i wont have feelings anymore. please?

Disappointment

Why is it always like this? When i need someone the most, that is the time they are not here for me. Even the most simple message will make me feel better. But Theres none. Not even one message. Really broked my heart. Deeply.

Cny

It was suppose to be a happy day today. But it turned out there was nothing to be happy about... Tears and cries every where... Afraid of losing my family members so does my relatives... Its not a good begining. Hopefully it will be ok... But the chances is very rare from what the doctor said. Its not a good day for my family members so does to me... Too many things happen today... I am very tired... Very tired. So many things happen but yet theres nothing i can do...

Who you are by your birth date.

Its been quite long since the last Blog i sent in... Been busy working and lesser picture taken there days... It was quite something today... Got a e-mail go chinese about a persons personality through their birth date... I asked my classmate to read it for me... Somehow my birth date tells us that i dont easily fall go love with someone, the person i love i dont let go of them easily... Kinda scary rite. Just like ghost haunt a person non stop... Heh... Prey hard it wont be YOU... Lol joking Nightz...

emo emo emo@.@

donno y so emo..........
tired sleepy today work at kajang...
u mobile maxis and celcom also there... digi missing hehe...
eat kajang satay for dinner....
cant seem to find the specialty of kajang satay...
hehe.....
today 2 nd ppl say the same thing le...
once before....
not long ago.....
seems to have interest to that person...
but dont even dare to dream about it...
it wont happen anyway.....
tat y emo lo.......
sianzzzz........
if can dig out this heart so wont be so emo wont it be better????
wish to do it but i cant afford to do it.....
more ppl will get hurt then...lol...
talking lap sap....
this is why loving a person that u know its impossible to be together is so hard....

5th dec08

that is today date.... this is about me today! and also the decision i have made... so last month which is nov, i go for an interview at a travel agency so i got a call bak saying that i got the job but only for rm 1400 per month so i accepted it and will be working there from jan onwards... 2nd of jan actually... so will be working in kl... but most of my family members does not agree bout this work... so might move to kl to stay for convenience to go to work and nothing bout conflict... hehe... moving in jan or end of dec... still looking for a place to stay... which is near and cheeeeeeeeeeap..... don wanna spend too much on stay.... summore got elec and water bill le@.@
going get mad hehe.... hope this is a right and a correct decision that i have made..... tataz...

Love, like or only interest... ♀♂♂♀

Today and the previous days. People attracts me to them. Making me to feel like want to be their friend. Want to know them better want to know who view really are... This is what i want to know from them. Have a chat to know them... Who view really are. What do u call it like love or interested? Its still makes me kinda blur with it... What makes me so interested to know them? Does live make me wanted to do so? I still don't know...


There was once i was so eager to know about a girl back in high school... I wanted to get her number but yet i don't have the courage to ask for it... Ever since then i never see her again ever... I dont remember what she look like anymore... Even if she appeared in front me me i night not know who she is... She night be only a stranger to me... There was a guy with her say him once at lrt when i look at him, what i remember was another person weird huh... But at the end i only recall back who he is...

I cant remember if i did write anything about this... Need to check my Blog only i will know... I only tell to a few person... It started when i was hurt from the first person i like.... Everytime i was hurt, i tend to actually find a replacement. I dont know why... I know its not good but i just cant control myself. Everything end go just a short time when they say they like me or love me... Iam hurting more and more person that like me...

◆it hurts when the person u like hurts u
◇it hurts when u see them get hurts.
◆it hurts when u know its impossible to be together
◇it hurts when they avoid u
◆it hurts when they tell u hearing them talking about their dark past
◇it hurt the most when they get hurt and its me who hurt them.
Faith is why i know them and faith is why we cant be together nor the past the present or even the future.even in this lifetime or the next,the decision will be theirs and ours to make.

27 november 2008

Today really tired... Work at kota damansara... The salesman drop me at sungai buluh station... And pass through kepong central station makes me remember back the past. It happen really fast... On that few days i have lost a friend. Important somehow... Some may know who i am talking about... It happen so fast, too fast. A friend that i dont want to lose... Hope it never happened and never will again.

ok le ba

asking ppl to c movie is not a big thing. theres nothing to worry about. its not like i am gonna eat u. lol... if u don want mar say dontwant lo... no big deal. its not that i cant take it if u say u dont want to c movie with me. lol dumbass u think i wat EMO-king?

really sianzzz deal with these kinda people. lol making me sick of asking ppl adi.

but i still wanna go watch movie..... anyone wanna go mar????if don wan buzz-off lo... if want contact me.. we will arrange time to go... but one thing i adi tell ailing ang miki and ah fer... college ppl err don think like wanna go watch movie wit them.... not in the mood... lol...

fine le ba... admire te ppl i oso don wan wait le la... no point waiting.... move on lo....minus one more thing from my waiting list... lol still waiting to go singapore find work le...need jyjy find better work to do lol and earn more $$ to spend and keep lol... want go work le la.. don wan say le.. bb enjoy ur weekday lol..

few weeks back te picture

this is when at genting..... tired today at home laso do work.... but its nothing... someone attracts me lately making me want to give more attention but then i dont dare to put any hope... what if i get disapointed just like all the other times before? but trying wont be a wrong thing.... but what if i lose another friend just like before.... headache u know and hurts a lot....

Lately...

Lately been busy working morning go work night come back... AND also been asked if want to be permanent staff... I am still thinking update u all later when free... Sleep 1st...

genting

there are many things that bother me right now.... i cant stop thinking about what happen lately and in the past. i tried many things to make me feel better and to stop me from thinking about it. i dont know why, everytime i will find someone to talk about them. it makes me feel better. but those things that i do to harm myself, i felt stupid after that. why thinking about these things that does no good to me and using product that harm my body?

but over and over these things comes and go.

i have cared for someone, telling i dont care about the person anymore but then, my heart still wonders whats the person been doing now after training?

does it tells you that i like the person or only just care about them. and wanted to know what they have been doing?

its so hard to let go expecially person that i care for. sometimes i do really want to lost my memory and move on in a new life. then life wont be that miserable anymore. i am cheating myself, my feelings... i really wanted to find someone that i really care and cares about me. then maybe its the best way to move on in life. but was'nt it kinda avoiding things that are happening in life? should'nt we be facing these task and not avoiding it?

sometimes it does hurt a lot facing the reality, hearing things, have a clear idea of whats happening now and around us... which is why i do really hates myself and what i am. why cant i have a normal life like other people have? suffering like this. make me wanna stop my heart from beating again. dumb huh?

really wish that someone will tell me why do i live for...

past present and future

"sometimes when things reach another level and decision have been made, it will never return to the previous stage again"

in the present, we only realise that the things we done in the past either it is the right thing to do or it is the wrong thing that we have done. in the future it will change us all through the decision that we have made. but the most important thing is to think about the decision that we are going to make is it the thing is what we need now and also the consequences of making the decision. we must also never ever regret about the decision that we have made.

15th

Today on the 15th of october... Going back to klang lo... Will miss the beautiful views and forget the ugly stressful days in pd and Avillion... Will do clearance then zoom back to klang

D®3amS

I took 2 picture just now one is wanted to grab something another is putting my hand out waiting for it to come... It reminds me of those who waiting for something to come and another is those who go for it... Those who go for it usually will get it first. Those who wait for it wait until the sky drop down also wont get it... Tomorrow im going for it... And i do hope i get it then i wouldn't be planning to stay in pd... Then it will be a fresh new start in a new country. New people. New job. Time to fully let go the past. This time i will work for the best and not to let go any opportunity doing something i really like to do... Last time i have let go once this time. No matter what.

Next...
I have scold people before hurt people... Anything. Saying sorry kills me. But if i know i am wrong i will ... If i am doing the right thing i will never say sorry. Ever. Once i have hurt someone. I made a mistake apologise is what i do first... But then things get worse. I waited and waited until once i ask for just a lunch. Nothing came back. No reply nothing. Until the last minute. I send a message telling that i just want to make the friendship go better. If dont like then just say it out. Just one word then i will never ever find you again. If thats what you want. By putting at the personal message telling i have no time to go for lunch with a person i dont like. End it goes. I tell back like that mar easy lo no need to keep in your heart just tell what you want i will never find you again. No regrets. Other had tell me before why need to step until this position. Just say sorry i have made a mistake that day. But when its what the person wants. I will not regret i have made this decision. And i own the person no longer any sorry. In i own the person a thanks for not making my life miserable anymore and hoping to get back a relationship that i lost. No regrets in me. If i ever see the person again he will only be a person i dont know person that i have never met in my life.